A teenage drunken story
My mother is going to kill me for this one, but since I am 36 and am married and don't live at home anymore, I guess she won't get too mad at me, or at least forgive me, please ma?When I was 18, she went out of town and left me at the house (on the lake) alone for a week. I had just graduated high school and never had the house to myself. (tell me you all wouldn't have had fun!!, but it was no 'risky business'!). Of course I was a good girl most of the time (seriously ma). But my friends, Joanne, Deadhead Dale (more tales about him later) and I had a few folks over, not many, for what we called a 'celebration of life' not even a party, we even gave mom a list of everyone who was there each night. She wasn't really happy and the list meant nothing!LOL. In retrospect, I can see her upset, she was liable for anything that happened in her house. But here is an example of how we tried to be responsible!! - well somewhat.
I had a little friend at the Hilton where I worked named James, a little waif of a guy maybe 110 lbs and he decided to come over. James, Dead Head Dale, Joanne and I decided to play quarters. James said he would do it w/ his bottle of Wild Turkey. We told him 'No way man, just do sips of beer'. He said 'Oh, I can drink you all under the table, I will do a shot of wild turkey to your beer shot". Well, it wasn't long before James was shit wrecked.
I was in the bathroom peeing and I hear all this laughter in the living room and this knock on the bathroom door, "Julie, let me in, JULIE PLEASE let me in.'
I say 'I am peeing, what a minute" I hear all this vomit in front of the door.
'Ok, I'm done now" I say real quick.. and open up the door and try to bolt out and slip and fall on the tile floor now covered in vomit and catch myself one foot off the floor in the door jam, just hovering over the vomit.
He goes in the bathroom on his hands and knees (what they had been laughing about) and goes on to vomit for a while.
I have to say this part is awful, but our black lab, Mickey, cleaned up the vomit before we could even try, she was so quick.
We decided that of course he shouldn't drive. None of us were going to. So, Dale went out to unplug his coil wire, so his car wouldn't start.
And after he passed out and we knew he was ok, we dawned our bathing suits and went for a nice swim and came back up to the house and watched a movie.
James was passed out in the bathroom w/ his head in the kitty litter box, and we moved his head so it was on the cold tile floor, which we were sure he would appreciate.
He got up at like three in the morning, shaking the litter from his head, and said he was going home and we all giggled 'ok, go ahead' .
He went out and started his car, and it wasn't sounding good, it was missing like hell, but it started and he left!! And he drove a pathway through trees and not the driveway, it was amazing that he did it and didn't hit anything!!
We were all freaked out!! We were so mad at Deadhead Dale!
He came back at eight in the morning saying something was wrong w/ his car and we looked and Dead Head Dale had unplugged a spark plug wire instead of the coil wire, so he was running on five cylinders!! He was a little upset when we told him. But we did mention he shouldn't have been a show out w/ the wild turkey and just should have had fun w/out getting wasted, like we did that night.
Don't kill me ma, it's already done and history now!! It's still pretty funny, 'Hey julie, let me in, let me in, bluck.....bluck....'.. tee hee..
Maybe you had to be there..............
posted by Julie @ 9:21 PM
Comments: 11
